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The 6 Pillars of a Winning Personals Ad

If you put up a personals ad, and you are not getting any positive results, you are losing sight or have lost sight of the overall principle behind personal ads.

What is this principle? What is the great mystery here? What is the overriding force that separates our winning personal ads from losing ads? It really all boils down to the fact that personal ads put you on sale.

I’m not talking about selling yourself into slavery, or anything drastic like that. Instead, I’m talking about selling yourself because when you put out an ad, you are telling the reader that you are more attractive, more desirable and more worthy of their attention compared to the ads that they’ve seen before you, and the ads they’re likely to see after you. You have to make that case. That is an unstated case.

This is the principle that drives personal ads, and unfortunately, a lot of people are so blind to this reality that they produce personal ads that do not make the sale. They don’t make the case because they feel that they’re not selling themselves. In fact, they are offended by the notion of them having to sell themselves.

It’s easy to see why people think this way because people believe they have inherent value, that just by showing up, they get respect, by showing up, they get the admiration they deserve. That’s not how reality works. Respect is earned. Admiration is the prize that you’re awarded for every victory that you get.

In other words, you can’t expect people to treat you nice just because you showed up. It would be nice if that’s the case, and you are definitely entitled to a minimal level of practical respect. However, if you’re actually looking to be found attractive enough to be worth chasing, you have to roll up your sleeves. You have to put in the work. You have to do a little something extra.

So, how
Nm does this work? Make sure that your personal ad has the following 6 pillars. If these 6 elements are present, chances are, your personal ad is going to be a winner. There are no two ways about it. This advice I’m going to give you applies whether you’re trying to get a date through a personal ad, or you are posting an ad in a dating website. It works in those contexts as well, and also works for social media.

Pillar 1: Highlight Your Personality

This is really important. You only have one shot when it comes to making a favourable impression as far as personal ads are concerned because they are often presented in a text dump. It’s just a list of headlines, so your headline has to jump out of nowhere. It has to grab the reader’s eyeballs and slap it around a few times.

One of the best headlines that I’ve seen was, “I promise to show you where the horse bit me.” That gets people’s attention. Everybody can say, “I make a million bucks, and I have blonde hair, blue eyes.” After all, on the internet, everybody’s a billionaire. That kind of headline is going to get a lot of yawns, but if you get something that grabs eyeballs, you stand out from the crowd.

You increase the likelihood that people would click through because at this level, you just want people to click through.

Pillar 2: Show a Recent, Clear and Honest Picture

People love authenticity. Let’s just get that out of the way. If you are looking for love online, you need to be authentic.

People are not looking for posers, actors, or people who are pretending to be somebody they’re not. Instead, they’re looking for real people, and if you post a picture of you that is obviously unfiltered, candid, shows you with a few extra pounds, and kind of slightly off, you’d be surprised as to how favorable that picture is because it shows you in your natural element and natural state.

People are sick and tired of the off-angle, super cute, Facebook-type photos that people pollute personal ad sites with. People have seen those all day every day, and they’re looking for something different. At the very least, when you show something real, your authenticity stands out.

Pillar 3: Cut Straight to the Chase

The personal ads don’t involve some sort of literary seduction. You just really have to cut to the chase because people who click through personal ads have probably clicked through hundreds of ads before, and they probably will click through hundreds of ads after you. So, you need to cut to the chase.

You need to answer them the question that they’ve always been asking, “What’s in it for me?” In other words, “What can you do for me?” So, highlight, in a very short form what you put on the table. What is it that you offer?

Pillar 4: Write and Think in Haiku

Are you familiar with haiku? Chances are, if you’ve taken high school English, you have had your brush with haiku. Haiku is a Japanese form of poetry that highlights a tremendous amount of imagery and emotion in a very compact form.

Think in those terms when describing yourself because you don’t have the luxury of time. You don’t expect these people to be in the mood to read a novel. You’re not that special. I’m sorry to break this to you.

At least, you’re not that special in the beginning. Maybe you would turn out to be the one for them, but in the beginning, they’re in a hurry. They have a lot of data to filter, so cut straight to the chase. Use a haiku-style writing to do it.

Pillar 5: Summarize

There has to be a summary line somewhere near the bottom of your personal ad. This highlights what you bring to the table. This reminds them of what they just read.
Remember, people are suffering from a temporary form of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder thanks to the internet. You can blame Facebook for this because Facebook just teaches you to scroll down and process all this information, and all you’re doing really is reading headlines. As a result, your tolerance for actual reading decreases, and when people read your personal ads, their tolerance for reading your full biography, curriculum vitae and resume go out the window.
So, remind them of what’s so special about you in 5 words or less. This should be your summation near the bottom of your personal ad.

Pillar 6: Winning Personal Ads Call People into Action

This is self-explanatory. There has to be a call to action line at the bottom of your ad.
Keep these 6 pillars in mind. Incorporate them, fine-tune them, polish them, and then you would have winning personal ads that attract members of the opposite sex all day every day.